Presence: The Greatest Gift
Your attention is your greatest expression of love. My friend Tamara Glenn of Be Love spoke these insightful words at a Galentie's Day fundraiser she was hosting. In addition to being a light in a sometimes dark world, she is a meditation coach and advocate for women.
In a world buzzing with notifications, endless scrolling, and digital distractions, one of the most precious gifts we can offer—our attention—is often scattered. We may think love is best expressed through grand gestures, eloquent words, or material gifts, but at its core, love is about presence. True love, whether for our partners, children, friends or even ourselves, is best demonstrated by the quality of attention we give.
We live in an era where our phones feel like extensions of ourselves. We instinctively reach for them at the dinner table, during conversations, and even in moments of solitude. We want to capture memories, but often at the cost of fully living them. How many times have we watched a concert through the lens of our phone instead of soaking in the music? Or found ourselves half-listening to a loved one while scrolling social media?
As an emotional intelligence coach, I see firsthand how this affects relationships, confidence, and connection. When we divide our attention, we signal to others (and ourselves) that something else is more important. Over time, this diminishes trust, intimacy, and fulfillment.
Presence is powerful. It reassures, heals, and strengthens bonds. When we give someone our full attention—eye contact, active listening, engaged body language—we communicate: You matter. You are valued. I see you.
From an emotional intelligence perspective, being present requires self-awareness (recognizing when we are distracted), self-regulation (choosing to refocus), and empathy (understanding how our inattention impacts others). Mastering these skills helps us cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections.
Simple Ways to Give the Gift of Attention
Put the Phone Down – Designate phone-free times, especially during meals, conversations, or quality time with loved ones.
Listen with Intent – Instead of formulating your response while someone is talking, truly hear them. Ask follow-up questions to show you care.
Engage in the Moment – Whether enjoying nature, spending time with family, or practicing self-care, allow yourself to be fully immersed.
Practice Mindfulness – Simple breathing exercises or daily gratitude reflections can train your mind to stay present.
Create Tech Boundaries – Set limits on screen time, social media use, and notifications that pull you away from real-life experiences.
If love is about connection, then attention is the bridge that keeps us deeply connected. The next time you find yourself reaching for your phone mid-conversation or mindlessly scrolling, pause. Ask yourself, "Is this moment worth missing?" because the greatest expression of love isn't just in our words or actions—it's in where we choose to place our attention.
By prioritizing presence, we strengthen relationships, deepen our emotional intelligence, and ultimately lead more fulfilling lives.
Love and light,
Shelley